Are you tired of falling into one toxic relationship after another? Do you keep finding yourself dating people who are completely wrong for you?
If so, you may be a victim of a new dating trend called fleabagging.
Inspired by the self-destructive habits of the character Fleabag, this term refers to repeatedly entering unsatisfying and unhealthy relationships. But don’t worry, you’re not alone.
In this article, we’ll explore the reasons behind fleabagging and give you practical tips on breaking free from this harmful cycle.
Let’s prioritize your self-worth and find healthier relationships.
Related: Why is Dating So Hard in Singapore
What is Fleabagging? Fleabag Definition – Explained
What is a fleabag? If you’re wondering what exactly fleabagging is, it refers to the act of repeatedly dating people who are wrong for you. It’s like getting caught in a cycle of toxic relationships.
It is a new dating term that has emerged, inspired by the popular TV series “Fleabag” created by Phoebe Waller-Bridge.
Meaning – you keep going after the wrong ones, even though deep down, you know it’s not right. It’s like a pattern that you can’t break free from.

Fleabagging can leave you feeling drained, emotionally exhausted, and questioning your self-worth.
But why do we do it? Maybe it’s because we’re afraid of being alone or we believe that we don’t deserve better. Whatever the reason, it’s important to recognize this behavior and make a change.
Is Fleabagging Normal? Is It Okay to Fleabag?
Dating people who are wrong for you can be a common experience, but it’s important to recognize that it isn’t a healthy or normal behavior.
Fleabagging, this toxic trend in the dating world, can leave you feeling unsatisfied, drained, and stuck in a harmful cycle.

To break free from this pattern and find a fulfilling relationship, there are a few key steps you can take:
- Reflect on your patterns: Take a close look at the characteristics of the people you tend to date and the red flags you may be ignoring.
- Challenge your beliefs: Explore why you believe you deserve to be treated poorly or settle for less than you deserve.
- Set boundaries: Don’t cling to unrealistic ideas or expectations. Learn to say no and protect your time and energy.
What to Do If You’re a Fleabagger?
If you’re a fleabagger, it’s time to break the cycle. Recognize that you deserve better and focus on loving and valuing yourself.
Look at your life values and learn to say no when something doesn’t align with them.
1. Recognize the Problem
To break the fleabagging cycle, it’s crucial for you to acknowledge and recognize the patterns in your dating habits.
Take a moment to reflect on the characteristics of the people you tend to date and the red flags you ignore.
Challenge the beliefs that make you think you deserve to be treated poorly or settle for less than you deserve. It’s time to set boundaries and protect your time and energy. Learn to say no when necessary.
But most importantly, work on your self-esteem. Engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself and remind yourself of your worth.
2. Focus on Self-Love and Self-Worth
Remember, prioritizing self-love and self-worth is essential in breaking the harmful cycle of fleabagging and finding healthier and more fulfilling relationships.
It’s time to focus on yourself and embrace the love and worthiness that you deserve.
Take a moment to reflect on all the amazing qualities you bring to a relationship. You’re deserving of love and respect.
Start by treating yourself with kindness and compassion. Engage in self-care activities that make you feel good about yourself, whether it’s taking a bubble bath, going for a walk in nature, or indulging in your favorite hobbies.

Surround yourself with positive influences and people who uplift you.
Don’t settle for less than you deserve. Set boundaries and communicate your needs and expectations clearly. Remember, you have the power to choose who you let into your life. Trust your instincts and let go of those who don’t appreciate you.
3. Look at Your Life Values
Take some time to reflect on what’s truly important to you in life and how those values align with your current dating habits. Consider the following:
- Are your actions in line with your values? Are you putting your own needs and well-being first, or are you constantly sacrificing your own happiness for the sake of a relationship?
- Are you seeking genuine connection? Are you dating with the intention of finding a deep and meaningful connection, or are you simply going through the motions without truly investing in the relationship?
- Are you being true to yourself? Are you staying true to your authentic self in your dating experiences, or are you pretending to be someone you’re not in order to please others?
By examining your values and aligning them with your dating habits, you can ensure that you’re pursuing relationships that are truly fulfilling and aligned with what you desire in life.
Intimacy begins with being honest with yourself and honoring your own needs and desires.
4. Learn How to Say No
If you struggle with setting boundaries, it’s important to learn how to say no in order to protect your own well-being.
Saying no can be difficult, especially when it comes to dating and relationships. But remember, you have the right to prioritize your own needs and desires.
You deserve to be with someone who respects your boundaries and treats you with kindness and love.
Saying no can be empowering and can help you weed out the people who aren’t a good fit for you. Trust your instincts and listen to your gut.

Don’t be afraid to speak up and communicate your needs. Remember, you deserve to be in a healthy and fulfilling relationship, and learning how to say no is a crucial step in achieving that.
5. It’s Okay to Be Single
You don’t have to be in a relationship to be happy. In fact, being single can be a wonderful and fulfilling experience. Here are three reasons why being single is okay:
- Freedom to focus on yourself. When you’re single, you have the opportunity to prioritize your own needs and desires. You can pursue your passions, focus on personal growth, and take care of yourself without any distractions.
- Time to discover what you truly want. Being single allows you to explore different aspects of your life and figure out what you truly want in a partner. It gives you the chance to learn from past relationships and understand your own preferences and deal-breakers.
- Opportunity for self-love and self-care. Being single gives you the space to practice self-love and self-care. You can indulge in activities that bring you joy, treat yourself with kindness, and build a strong foundation of self-worth.
6. Date Yourself First
When you prioritize yourself and invest time in getting to know and love yourself, you lay the foundation for healthy and fulfilling relationships. Taking the time to date yourself first allows you to understand your own needs, desires, and boundaries.
It helps you build self-confidence and develop a strong sense of self-worth. By engaging in activities that bring you joy and practicing self-care, you show yourself that you’re deserving of love and happiness.
Wear nice clothes. Take yourself out on dates. Read a book. Anything that makes you happy.

This self-discovery journey also allows you to identify what you truly want and need in a partner.
When you have a deep connection with yourself, you’re better equipped to attract and maintain a healthy and intimate relationship.
Related: Singapore First Date Ideas
7. Get an Outside Perspective
Sometimes it can be helpful to seek an outside perspective on your dating habits and patterns. When it comes to fleabagging, getting insight from someone else can provide valuable insights and help break the cycle.
Here are a few reasons why seeking an outside perspective is beneficial:
- Fresh insights: Another person can offer a fresh pair of eyes and see patterns that you might’ve missed.
- Unbiased advice: Friends or family can offer unbiased advice and help you see things from a different perspective.
- Support and encouragement: Having someone to lean on and share your experiences with can provide the support and encouragement you need to make positive changes.
8. Change Your Patterns
Changing your patterns is crucial in breaking the cycle of repeatedly dating wrong people who are bad for you. It’s time to break free from the toxic relationships and find someone who truly deserves you.
Start by reflecting on your past dating habits and identifying the common characteristics of the people you tend to attract. Challenge your beliefs about what you deserve in a relationship and set healthy boundaries for yourself.

Remember, you’re worthy of love and respect. Work on improving your self-esteem and engage in activities that make you feel good about yourself. Surround yourself with positive influences and seek support from a therapist or support group if needed.
9. Meet Someone Different
If you’re tired of repeating the same unhealthy dating patterns, it’s time to open yourself up to meeting someone who’s different and truly compatible with you.
Break free from the toxic cycle of fleabagging and discover a fulfilling relationship.
Here’s How:
- Step out of your comfort zone. Expand your horizons and explore new social settings where you can meet a wider range of people.
- Be open-minded. Don’t let past experiences dictate your own future. Give others a chance and be willing to see beyond surface-level characteristics.
- Communicate your needs and desires. Be upfront about what you’re looking for in a relationship and don’t settle for less. Open and honest communication is key to finding someone who truly understands and supports you.
What Does Fleabagging Mean – Wrapping Up
You deserve to break the fleabagging cycle and find a healthy and fulfilling relationship. It’s time to prioritize your happiness and well-being, and leave your fleabag era behind.
Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone. Seek support from a therapist, counselor, or join a support group for people who are going through the same struggles.
You have the power to overcome fleabagging and find the healthy, fulfilling relationship you deserve.
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